You can either look for opportunities or you can make excuses for why you cannot grow. It takes some practice to see opportunities when you have been putting yourself down.
The trick is to start somewhere. It does not matter how small the step, at least you are not stagnant. Some obstacles may be easy to overcome, whilst others may take years. If you set yourself up with a plan, keep a routine, the structure will provide a pathway for you to succeed. Do not give up on yourself. There will be times you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, but your wise counsel and those who love you can help you see what to look forward to. Nobody can make you successful. No one can take all the pain away instantly, only you can take the leap.
Personal responsibility in changing is paramount.
Here is a blog excerpt from Sex and Relationship Healing
“It’s not uncommon for people in early recovery to question their level of personal responsibility for their addiction. The medical model, which is the basis for 12 step programs, reflects the belief that factors such as genetics and adverse life experiences relieve us of responsibility for causing our addiction. Once it becomes clear that an addiction is present, however, all accountability for dealing with it falls squarely on the addict.
Critics of the 12-step model of recovery sometimes believe that the steps relieve the addict of responsibility by saying that he or she has a “disease.” However, despite any causal factors, the addict is ultimately responsible for his or her behavior, and simply stating “I am powerless” in no way releases the addict from taking ownership of his or her actions.
That said, some factors can complicate the role of personal responsibility when symptoms of addiction are present. Bipolar disorder, for example, can create a manic state in which people act out in a hypersexual manner. This behavior can mimic sex addiction, but the underlying cause is very different. In other cases, people may carry a genetic predisposition to addiction, something that becomes clear with careful reflection of one’s family tree. Or there may be cultural concerns in which greater use of alcohol, other drugs, or acting out sexually is condoned. Gay men are often cited as an example of a subculture in which addictive behaviors are tolerated to a greater extent than in the larger society. And with the opioid epidemic, we are seeing the damage that can be caused when physicians prescribe drugs that are highly addictive.
Despite these complicating factors, addicts always remain responsible for their behavior. Below I have listed three factors linked to an addict taking personal responsibility in dealing with his or her addiction.